Since the New Year, I honestly wondered if I would ever get back to this blog.  Not because of lack of interest on my part, but mainly due to feeling sapped of physical and emotional strength as the months passed.  In my last post back in December, I mentioned my continuing health woes due to Lyme Disease and mold toxicity.  Around this same time, we received news that our house could still be contributing to my mold toxicity.  This shocking revelation was followed by even more physical setbacks – neuropathy, back/hip pain, hormone imbalance, gut dysfunction…the works.  I’ve been through all of this before, but each time things flare up, it feels like a huge blow to morale.

My prolonged pause from blogging was also in hope that I could come back bearing good news – “I’m stable and the treatment is working!”  “I’m strong enough to create a new recipe!”  Or better yet, “I’m healed and in remission!” But for now, my health update is this: I’m still very much in the fight with these infections and illnesses. We are still in the midst of house issues.  And overall, not much has changed, which is discouraging.  But, once I have a better handle on what has been helpful for my body and our house situation, I promise to share all of the details with you.  I’m just not there yet.

So why am I writing at all?  Well, I realized that there actually IS still good news to share with you today.  It has nothing to do with Lyme Disease, Mold Toxicity, the AIP diet, or physical health.  No, this is simply good news for the soul.  And it is powerful enough to inspire me, in my most painful moments, to get back on the blog and write to encourage myself as much as I hope to encourage you.  This good news comes in the form of what I’ll call, “A Sifting Season.”  And with Easter weekend approaching, it couldn’t be more fitting.

The Sifting

At the start of Lent this year, my church began a congregation-wide Bible reading plan that focused on Jesus’ life, teachings, crucifixion, and resurrection.  I’ve grown up in the church, so I know the Easter story pretty well.  But what I love about God’s Word is that no matter how many times you read it, you can always learn something new from it.  Which is exactly what happened to me as I read a familiar passage in the book of Luke.

On this particular morning, in the midst of a Lyme flare, I was lying down with my hip brace on, my infrared heated back mat running, and my head propped up.  It was basically the only position that didn’t hurt some part of my body.  And to be perfectly honest, I was feeling sorry for myself, feeling depressed about life, feeling angry at God, and feeling guilty for being angry at God.  Yikes.  Not the best way to start off my morning devotional time, but then again, maybe it was exactly where God wanted me.  As the old C.S. Lewis quote goes, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains.”  This became a shouting moment for me.

In Luke 22, Jesus was with his disciples as they shared in what would be Jesus’s Last Supper.  Among the table topics was a discussion of who among the disciples would be the greatest.  (They clearly still had a lot to learn about humility!)  Jesus calmed their dispute by teaching them that it’s more important and valuable in the kingdom of God to serve than to be served.  He then promised them each a prominent place in His heavenly kingdom.  But what truly caught my attention was what Jesus said next:

“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat.  But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail.  So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.”

Peter said, “Lord, I am ready to go to prison with you, and even to die with you.”

But Jesus said, “Peter, let me tell you something. Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.” 

-Luke 22:31-34 NLT

Now, I had read about the Last Supper plenty of times.  I had read about the disciple’s dispute plenty of times. I had read about Peter’s denial of Jesus plenty of times.  But for some reason, in the past, I had skipped or merely glossed over the verses about sifting.  And now, on a dark, painful morning, those verses jumped out at me like never before and offered a totally new perspective on my suffering. Am I, like Simon Peter and the other disciples, being sifted?  Are we all? 

I believe the answer is a resounding YES.  When you think of sifting something, you probably picture shaking up a sieve to separate the nice, smooth parts of flour from the tough, lumpy parts.  The flour takes quite a beating and gets knocked around so much that nothing can hide in the sifting.  Just like the shaking up and sifting of our lives will reveal what truly lies in our hearts and whether or not our faith will prevail.

The figurative sifting that Jesus is referring to might look very different for each of us.  For some (like me), the sifting might happen through chronic illness.  For others, through relationship troubles or financial hardship or deep grief.  Regardless of the exact circumstances, we all, at some point in our lives, will experience “A Sifting Season” –  a season of struggle that will really put our faith to the test.  On our own, these sifting seasons might seem frustrating, painful, and pointless.  But with the help of our Sustainer, the sifting seasons can lead to a strengthening and maturing of our faith and character.

As a result of being sifted, Peter, a bold, foolish, so-called “failure”, would ultimately become a builder of the Christian church, a writer of two books of the Bible, and a martyr for Jesus Christ.  The life of Peter is a powerful reminder that God really can use our sifting seasons to build us up into courageous, faithful people we never imagined we could be.

The Struggle

“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith.  Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are.”

-1 Peter 5:8-9 NLT

He was a man of emotional ups and downs.  He had the courage to walk on water, but seconds later, his fear plunged him into the deep.  He proclaimed his faithfulness to Jesus, but hours later, denied that he even knew Him.  Peter definitely understood what it meant to struggle in faith and that’s probably why he wrote these verses.  They serve as a warning to us all that we need to be ready for the sifting seasons.

It sounds scary to think that the devil is prowling and ready to attack us, but we must remember that he only has the power to do what God allows.  Satan had to ASK for permission before sifting the disciples. And he still must ask to sift each of us.  While we may not understand why God allows him to sift us, we can rest assured that God has complete power and authority over ALL creation, including the devil, and will not allow anything to happen to us outside of His perfect plan.

Yes, God allowed the disciples to suffer, but He also knew that eventually, the struggle would produce men who would proclaim their faithfulness to the end.  And yes, God allows us all to suffer because He knows that it can lead to a faith like we’ve never had before.  But getting to that point won’t be easy and it will involve a struggle.  Especially when our enemy is roaring and wants to see us fail.  And his tactics usually involve a two-pronged approach: devastation and isolation.

When the expectations we have about this life are shattered, we often feel devastated and doubtful. Peter and the disciples expected a conquering king in Jesus, but instead, discovered that He was a sacrificial Lamb.  I expected to have a family by now, but I’m still sick and weak.  Maybe you expected to be married by now or have a great job by now or be out of the hospital by now…but either nothing as changed or things seem worse.  As our expectations are turned upside-down, having faith that God is working for our good becomes more difficult.  The devil knows just how to devastate us with unexpected or undesirable circumstances so that we begin to feel hopeless in the struggle.  Then the questions come flooding into our hearts…  Is God really good while there’s so much suffering?  Does He even hear my prayers?  Will things EVER get better?  

And while we’re in these fragile emotional and/or physical states comes the second blow.  We begin to believe that no one can possibly understand our pain.  We think that everyone else has it better than we do.  We feel alone, miserable, and unloved.  We start to pull away from friends, loved ones, the church, and even God.  Instead of reaching out to God and our family of believers who is suffering like we are, we turn inward and become consumed by our pain and doubts.  Isolation is the perfect place for the devil to creep in and destroy our faith.

When I am feeling devastated and isolated by the pain of Lyme Disease, the frustration of fighting mold toxins, and the delay of my dreams, all the knowledge of God and His goodness seems to fade.  It gets difficult to trust Him and it feels like the devil is getting the upper hand.  On those dark days, it’s hard to believe that I’ll survive this sifting season, let alone be stronger from it.  I forget what is true about God and become convinced that all I can do is weep and lament over my circumstances, my fear, and my lack of faith.  I want to give up the fight.

And I think that Peter, on the night he denied Jesus, might have felt the exact same way.  Peter thought he was brave and ready to die with Jesus, but the opposite proved true.  In the last moments with his friend, teacher, and Savior, Peter feared for his life and denied his relationship with Jesus – not once, but three times.  After hearing the rooster’s crow, Peter realized his betrayal, was devastated by his failure, isolated himself from the crowd, and wept bitterly.  He probably felt like giving up, too.

So, what do we do when the struggle seems too great, our faith seems too small, and the prowling lion roars too loudly?  Fortunately, we have a powerful counterattack to the devil’s schemes:  Jesus.  He is our Sustainer who is always fighting for us, interceding on our behalf, and waiting for us with open arms.  We just have to make the choice to surrender our struggles to Him.  If we do, He will sustain us through the sifting and give us strength where we had none.

The Sustainer

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”

-1 Peter 5:10 NIV

Long before I knew I would be writing a devotional blog post about Peter and the sifting, my husband printed out this verse in 1 Peter and taped it to the ceiling above my side of the bed.  I was going through a painful week, much like the one I’m in now.  And I don’t think it was a coincidence that my husband chose this verse at that time.  God knew I would need to be reminded daily that this sifting season will eventually end, but not with me giving up.  Peter also needed that reminder.  Maybe you need it, too.

We don’t have to give up because Jesus, our powerful Sustainer, is with us in the fight. He can handle our tears and tough questions.  He will comfort us in our devastation and join us in our isolation.  All He requires is that we let go of control and invite Him to lead our lives.  Our prayers should echo the prayer that Jesus prayed on the night before His death, “Not my will, but yours be done.”  

By opening our hearts to Jesus, we can survive the sifting seasons because He is interceding on our behalf.  Remember how Jesus told Peter and His disciples that He was pleading to God the Father in prayer?  He was praying that their faith wouldn’t fail.  And He’s praying that for us, as well.

It’s completely humbling to think that the Son of God, the One who died in our place, is praying for us.  But that just makes it clear how much He loves us and wants to see us through this life. Jesus conquered the sting of death so that we could live.  And now, He is with us through each minute, each hour, each day.  Just like bread is sustenance for the body, Jesus is sustenance for the soul.  If we surrender to Jesus, He will sustain us through the struggle, just like He sustained Peter.

Even though Peter had to suffer grief and shame for his mistakes, Jesus didn’t let Peter give up.  Even though Peter’s faith may have faltered, the spark didn’t completely go out.  And three days later, that spark was ignited when he met Jesus in the flesh.  When Peter saw his friend and Savior again, resurrected and well, I’d imagine it felt like a restoration of faith, strength, and courage.  Likewise, Jesus will sustain us, restore us, and strengthen us so that we can have a faith that never fails.

The Strengthening

“So be truly glad.  There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while.  These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”

-1 Peter 1:6-7 NLT

Before I had come across the sifting verses in Luke, I had felt pretty saturated with scriptures and statements on suffering.  For the past several years, I’d craved books on suffering and wanted to read the stories of others going through hard times.  Not only did these stories make me feel less alone, but I also thought that maybe, just maybe, I’d find some secret way to make my suffering season a little shorter.  Like if I prayed the right prayers and read the right scriptures, the pain would end more quickly.  It was clear that my end goal was to skip the suffering ASAP and move on to the next chapter of life.

And now, reading these verses about sifting, I realize how weak my faith still is and how much I still need to be strengthened.  When trials come and I’m afraid, my faith feels forgotten.  I focus on the struggle and not on the Sustainer.  I’m really no different than Peter was before the rooster crowed. While I may not deny Jesus directly, I act like I don’t know Him in my response to suffering.  But just like Peter got another chance to prove his faithfulness, I know that Jesus is giving me plenty more opportunities, too.  Even though I wish there was an easier way to learn faithfulness than through a sifting season like this one, it gives my suffering a totally new sense of purpose.

When we can view our suffering as an opportunity to be strengthened, we receive something far more valuable than a pain-free life.  (Even though it sounds tempting!)  In the verses above, Peter informs us that our trials refine our faith to be more precious than gold itself.  Though we tend to crave an easy, successful, comfortable life, it’s a life of trials and sifting seasons that will produce a strong, enduring faith. With this kind of faith, we will not only be strengthened through our own suffering, but we can also strengthen and encourage those around us.

After Jesus was resurrected from His death on the cross, He returned to Peter and the disciples before ascending into heaven.  When Peter saw Jesus, he leapt from his fishing boat and ran to meet Him on the shore.  Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him – not once, but three times.  Just three days prior, Peter had denied Jesus three times.  And now, Jesus gave Peter the opportunity to declare his love three times, followed by a directive to feed His sheep.  This was the beginning of Peter’s ministry and lifelong devotion to Jesus Christ.  Peter would go on to suffer many more trials, imprisonment, and an agonizing death, but his once wavering faith became rock solid and his words are still encouraging us today.

Friends, I hope this fresh perspective on suffering sparks a new motivation in you like it did for me as we enter into Easter weekend.  If we view suffering as a sifting season rather than just purposeless pain, it feels more like an opportunity rather than a curse.  An opportunity to push forward through the struggles.  An opportunity to reach out to our Sustainer to counter the devil’s attacks.  And an opportunity to prove the genuineness of our faith to the One who sacrificed everything for us.  I don’t know about you, but thinking of my suffering like that puts a little fight back into my spirit and renews my hope for the future.