What am I doing here?
Why is this happening to me?
What is the purpose for my pain?
How will good come from this?
These are questions I’ve asked myself frequently over the past 5 years – after we lost our baby, my health, and our home. These questions come to mind on days when my pain is at its worst, when emotions are running high, when I’m feeling alone or misunderstood, when I’m doubting God’s goodness and plan, or when it appears everyone around me is moving forward in life and I’m feeling hopelessly stuck. And my guess is that this year, I’m not the only one asking these questions.
This crazy year we’re living through has ranged from mere annoyance for some to totally catastrophic for others. For my husband and me, 2020 has oddly been an improvement from our past few years…so, that’s saying something. Yet, the isolation and extra time on our hands makes us very aware of the holding pattern we’re in. The prayers and longings of our hearts have remained unanswered and we still feel trapped in difficult circumstances. Bring on the questions.
Why was I was born in this specific time, in this specific place, around specific people, with these specific challenges? And why am I living through this hostile, hate-filled, disaster-ridden, political, pandemic year? From my viewpoint, things don’t make much sense and I don’t feel a strong purpose in life- especially on days when all I can do is push through my pain or fight through my frustrations. Maybe you can relate.
The questions above may seem complicated and unanswerable from our current perspective. Only God could tell us the answers, right? But maybe He already has. And maybe the answers are simpler than we think…
For Help with the Present, Look to the Past
“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.” ~Romans 15:4
Over the past six months, I’ve been at a crossroads with this blog. I was still too physically impaired to dive back into recipe-creating. And I was mentally and spiritually tapped out, as well. Was it time to call it quits?
Feeling lost and confused, I read the Bible, asked God for help, and tried to think of something meaningful or useful to share. Instead of an answer, I got silence. Feelings of frustration and discouragement set in. And once again, the questions came.
I questioned my purpose. I questioned why I created Fed and Fulfilled in the first place. I questioned why God would take so many good things away from me. I questioned why I have to be in continual pain. I questioned what good He could possibly bring from my life and circumstances.
And you know what? It was in the questioning, in the frustration, in the moments of doubt and discouragement that I finally “heard” an answer. And it was a simple, yet profound, six-word phrase.
I felt like God was telling me that I was here “for such a time as this.” That my whole existence, the reason I’m still living and breathing is “for such a time as this.” That the timing of when I write or share blog posts is “for such a time as this.” That I’m living through Lyme disease and chronic pain “for such a time as this.” That the family I grew up in, the man I married, the friends I have are all “for such a time as this.”
If you’re not familiar with the Bible, you may be wondering what in the world I’m talking about. (Or maybe you are familiar with it, and you’re still wondering!) Well, this phrase that can give us so much help, encouragement, peace, and confidence in the here-and-now, was actually written thousands of years ago. It came from a famous passage in the book of Esther. So, it seemed that God was telling me to look to the past – starting with Esther’s story. And often, looking to the past not only helps answer questions to better understand our present situations, but it also reminds us of God’s faithfulness and gives us hope for our futures.
Esther: A Chosen Queen
“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”
Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: “Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.” ~Esther 4:14-16 (emphasis mine)
Esther was a Jewish orphan girl with a “rags-to-riches” story. She lost both of her parents at a young age and was taken in by a cousin named Mordecai. Mordecai saw a golden opportunity for Esther after the reigning King Xerxes banished his first wife and was seeking a new one. So, Mordecai entered Esther into a year-long “beauty pageant” of sorts in the hopes that she would be chosen to be part of the King’s court and serve in his palace. Not only did Esther catch the attention of the king, but she caught his affections, as well, and he made her his new bride and queen.
Meanwhile, the Jewish people- Esther’s own people- were in danger of being totally wiped out. A wicked nobleman to the king, named Haman, was bent on destroying Mordecai and the rest of the Jews. He urged the king to carry out this plan. Fortunately, Mordecai was able to convince Esther to persuade the king to abandon this plot and put an end to Haman, instead.
Mordecai reminded Esther that she was put in this position for so much more than fancy clothes and dinner parties. Rather, she was chosen by God to be queen- “for such a time as this” – to save her people. Rather than leaving this deliverance to someone else, Esther courageously, strategically, and humbly approached her hot-headed husband, knowing she was risking her own life to do so. And Esther’s special relationship with the king paid off, her faithfulness to her people was rewarded, and justice for the Jews was swift and sure.
The funny thing about the book of Esther is that there is no mention of God whatsoever. Yet, the whole book shows the power and love of a very detail-oriented Heavenly Father. How else could it be explained that a Jewish orphan just happens to catch the attention and affection of a powerful king and convince him to spare the entire Jewish nation? Clearly, God used Esther’s humble upbringing, compassionate heart, and courageous spirit to set her apart from other royal women. He gave her a strong support system in Mordecai. He grew her relationship with the king over time so that her advice would be trusted and carried out. And God turned the tragedy of a girl losing her parents into a triumph of a queen saving her people. Esther’s story has God’s masterful handiwork written all over it.
We can say the same for our own lives. Even on days when God feels absent or silent, that doesn’t change the fact that He’s working and weaving things together for good. Like Esther, we also are chosen by God to live in this very time for a specific reason. We have been allowed to go through hardships and trials for a purpose. And often, in this present moment, we can’t see the point of any of it yet. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t one.
Now, you might be thinking, “Sure, it’s easy to see that in Esther’s case. She was queen. She had power, success, status, wealth! She saved a nation! She was important!”
Well, how about a less flashy example? Fast-forward hundreds of years, when God changed another girl’s life and used her in equally unexpected and powerful ways. There was nothing remarkable about her – no power, wealth, or status. She was simply a humble servant with a faithful heart, chosen by God to fulfill His plan. Her story is one that you might be more familiar with, especially as we approach the Christmas season…
Mary: A Chosen Vessel
The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.”
“How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?” The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. For no word from God will ever fail.”
“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her. ~Luke 1:28-38
Here, in the gospel account of Luke, we find Mary, a betrothed teenager going about her daily chores, with a surprise visit by an angel of God. It’s hard to imagine what that must have been like – seeing an angel in person and being told that you were highly favored by God! Obviously, Mary was shocked and confused by the greeting because she probably didn’t see herself as anything but ordinary.
Even though Mary’s head must have been full of questions, she only asked one. And when the angel explained how she would conceive, she didn’t hesitate, complain, or turn down the assignment. Yet, Mary must have been very aware that once she became pregnant, she risked her engagement, her reputation, and even her life to carry out God’s plans. But despite Mary’s life being totally turned upside-down, her response to God was one of praise, not pouting.
And Mary said:
“My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
holy is his name.” ~Luke 1:46-49
Much like Esther, Mary was chosen by God “for such a time as this” and she praised God for it. But even though she was blessed as the chosen mother of God’s Son, that didn’t mean life was easy for her.
Mary was unaware of all that the Lord had in store for her and she didn’t demand answers. She didn’t know that she would leave her family and friends behind and travel by camel to Bethlehem while she was nine months pregnant. She didn’t know that she would give birth to Jesus in filthy surroundings without the help of family or doctors. She didn’t know that she would flee from a power-hungry king who killed babies in Bethlehem for fear one of them might grow up to overthrow him. She didn’t know that she would become a widow and single mother. She didn’t know that she would watch her beloved son, our beloved Savior, be rejected, beaten, and put to death on a cross.
But my guess is that even if the angel had told Mary every difficulty of her future, her response would have been the same. “I am the Lord’s servant...May your word to me be fulfilled.” Mary knew that God had a plan for her and that He would be with her. And that was all she needed to know. Her obedient spirit and whole-hearted devotion to God made her the perfect vessel for the Messiah and a great example for us. Her story reminds us that God uses ordinary people in extraordinary ways. And her character reminds us that we, too, need to be ready and willing to be used by God, even if we don’t know or understand His plan.
You and Me: A Chosen People
“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.” ~John 15:16
These stories of Esther and Mary, along with countless others in the Bible and throughout history, give us evidence that we were all made “for such a time as this.” And the words of Jesus in John 15:16 should speak volumes to our questioning hearts. Before we were even born, God chose each of us and appointed us to live our lives with purpose – to produce fruit that will last. What we do in this life will make a difference for eternity, whether it’s good or bad, grand or humble. We each have an impact and influence on the world around us. There is no life or purpose too small or unimportant in God’s eyes.
As it says in Ephesians 2:10: “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Whether it feels like it or not, whether we acknowledge it or not, we all have a place in God’s story. We could be leading a nation or cleaning a bathroom. It all matters to God because every small and large circumstance in our lives is part of a grand design and master plan that is unfolding every day. One that started with Genesis and will end with Revelation. God uses imperfect people like you and me right where we are to do His good work, things He planned for us before we were born.
What if you don’t believe in God? Well, I have news for you. Even those who don’t follow God are still under His authority. He can and does use both believers and non-believers to fulfill prophecies and purposes. But I believe the Lord saves His greatest assignments for His most faithful followers. Knowing God makes our time here on earth immensely more purposeful than if we just live purely for ourselves and our own desires. After all, He is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end of all of our stories and of time itself. He set everything in motion so that we would seek Him and find Him, as stated here in Acts:
From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ ~Acts 17:26-28a
If you’re truly looking for purpose and answers in your life, the best place to start is with the Son of God. Once we accept Jesus Christ as our Savior, ask Him to forgive us of our sinfulness, and entrust our hearts to Him, life takes on a whole new meaning. We live and move and have our being in Him. We can look to Him for direction in our lives. We can trust that He’s working for our good and will carry our burdens with us. And we can have hope that there’s so much more to life than what we can see here right now- an eternal, glorious future in heaven.
Now, let me be clear. Once you commit your life to Jesus, you may still have no idea why life is the way it is or what you’re supposed to do with it. And that’s perfectly fine – I’m right there with you! Sometimes we don’t need to know the specifics, we just need to focus on the basics. Accepting Jesus Christ to be the Lord over our lives is the first step. After that, we read His Word daily and ask for His help in living out His plans for us. And while our specific callings may differ greatly in this life, our goals are the same:
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ~Matthew 22:37-40
Simply put, this life is about loving God and loving others. When we’re struggling to find purpose in life or in our pain, we need to look upward and outward. Turning our focus upward to God in worship and praise refreshes our perspective. We can only see the present, but He sees the future and we can trust Him with it. And looking outward to the needs of others takes our minds off of our own problems or pain. We can often find a deep sense of purpose and fulfillment in simply loving and helping other people. Any further assignments we have on earth are additions to these two main goals.
When we use the time we’ve been given to love God and other people, even our pain has a purpose. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve been able to relate to, have compassion for, or even comfort because of the pain I’m going through right now. Does that mean I love having pain? Absolutely not. I’d trade it in a heartbeat. But when I think of the details of God’s plan and how He never wastes anything in our lives, I can begin to appreciate how He is using my pain to impact specific people in this specific season of life. And maybe I’m in this Lyme battle and writing this very post for such a time as this because someone out there needs this reminder as much as I do.
We are Here for Such a Time as This
As I type these words, I’m feeling a bit more encouraged and secure about my place in this world. I hope you are, too! Yet, I know more hard days will come for us. And with them, the questions will inevitably fill our minds again and cast doubt on our purpose, circumstances, or future. When they do, let’s be ready. Let’s recall God’s faithfulness in the past. Let’s be encouraged by the stories of Esther and Mary. Let’s give thanks for Jesus’s sacrifice and love for us. Let’s make it our mission to love God and love others. And let’s remember the simple phrase, “for such a time as this” and take it to heart.
Just because we can’t see or understand God’s purpose in our circumstances, pain, job, relationships, or life right now doesn’t mean we never will. Did young Esther think she’d grow up to be a queen who saved a nation? Did young Mary think she would one day mother the Messiah? Who are we to assume we know how our lives will play out?
God used Esther right where she was as a chosen queen, with her unique abilities, personality, influence, and relationships. God used Mary right where she was as a chosen vessel, with her unique abilities, personality, influence, and relationships. And God is using us where we are as a chosen people, with our unique abilities, personalities, influences, and relationships. If God can take a poor orphan from a persecuted people and turn her into a heroic queen to save a nation, and if He can take a humble unmarried teenager and turn her into the mother of His Son and our Savior, then I have no doubt that He can do amazing things with our lives, too.
Friends, you and I are here in this tumultuous year of 2020 for a reason. Let’s pray right now that we would make the most of the time we have been given. Maybe this year, we’re here to learn a lesson, grow in faith, help those in need, be a better friend, work diligently, adopt a child, become a missionary, or simply love and worship God. No matter what our specific circumstances or sphere of influence is, we can live confidently knowing that we are chosen by God and are right where He wants us. For His good purpose. For such a time as this.
God is clearly using your unique ability, personality, influence, and relationships. How inspiring!
Aw Linda, thank you! That means so much to me. I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
WOW!!! Thank you Joanna!! I needed this. I am crying, and not just a little, but a lot! This is so beautiful and timely for me to read. You hit on so many essential truths that I needed to hear right now. Praise the Lord!!
Aw, Cami, thank you! 🙂 I’m so glad it resonated with you and encouraged you so much. God knew exactly who needed to read it and when. Praise Him for His perfect timing in everything!
I am new to fedandfulfilled. I found the link on healingautoimmune.com in 35 creative AIP cauliflower recipes to Your butternut, cauliflower mash & I used parsnips 🙂
I have a friend of 40 yrs with severe sugar addiction who less than 2 wks ago said she wants to try a new way!!! HALLELUJAH!! She also became a Christian a couple yrs ago so I am Most Blessed of ppl!
1st Your recipe was greatly loved by both of us! Creamy is her big need. I just got a stick blender & hadn’t actually used it til then. Yah! Big triumph!
At that time I checked around Your site a bit & saw that You are a Sister in Christ! That makes You highly recommended in my book! 😉 Then the AIP also moves You up! Then this wonderful post full of Truth & transparency makes You a real treasure in our world!! TY LORD!!
You are a wise woman of God. I just finished a great devotional on Job in the you version Bible app that was truly eye opening in the same way You have used Esther & Mary. If You would like to do it & then write a post on that as well I can go look at title of devo. It was a 30 day one I think. Nice ‘n long & full of truly gifted insights like You have brought out of the other two examples. You have a gift for writing & teaching!
I agree we must Trust & grow in Faith! He has the right to rule & His rule is always right!!
I don’t know where Your blog is headed either but seems like it is going to be great no matter!! Keep Your eyes & ears tuned. He’s got this 😉
LORD continue to encourage, strengthen & comfort You & Yours. May it be His will to heal & restore all to You Sister. His will be done.
Hi Becky,
Thank you so much for your encouragement, compliments, and prayers! I’m so thrilled you found my blog and that it’s been helpful to you and your friend. 🙂 And I’ll have to look up the Bible study you mentioned. I so appreciate your kindness and I wish you and your friend all the best in your health and faith journeys!
God bless!
I just found your blog “Fed and Fulfilled”. You have done a great job with this devotional encouragement– thanks so much for sharing “Such a time as this”. It is a wonderful reminder to me as I am dealing with celiac disease and my purpose. I know God has a plan for me and that you are feeling hopeful for your situation too.
Aw, thank you, Susan! That is kind of you to say. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with celiac disease- it’s a big life adjustment, for sure. May God bless and encourage you in your health journey!
Hi Joanna. I came across your blog in search of AIP recipes. Although I haven’t had the opportunity to try your food recipes yet (I will–the Caramel Apple Upside Down cake is calling me name!), I’ve read and love your”recipe” for Faith! It’s so very evident you love God and His Son, Jesus Christ. You are so positive in the face of much adversity! I too love God and Jesus Christ! I’m so grateful for Their guidance and direction in my life. I know they live and love all of their children. I know they are aware of each of us and desire happiness for all.
I feel to share with you the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is Good News! Learn more about it here: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org
Let me know if you have any questions.
May God bless you in all your endeavors to lift and help others! I pray He will heal you and continue to guide your life for good.
Thank you, Merry! I appreciate your kind words of encouragement and prayers. I actually already attend a church and am a Christian, as you can tell from my post. 🙂 This is the church I attend and our statement of faith: https://www.peterscreekbaptist.com/contentpages.aspx?p=b44c28a7-cd30-444c-bdef-fa123f9a8032 Have a great day and I hope you enjoy my recipes! The Caramel Apple Upside-Down Cake has definitely been a hit with many of my readers!
Wow, I needed to hear this. It’s so comforting to hear these reminders and have a fellow Christian to look to for food ideas as I navigate my new autoimmune disease. It’s so easy to get discouraged, but this reminds me that God will use me and my circumstances and that I’m not alone in my healing journey. Thank you 🙌🏻
My pleasure, Lindsay! I’m so glad the words resonated with you and that you felt encouraged by it. I also have shared those same feelings of discouragement and loneliness in my health journey. But we’re all in this together and God will use all of the hardship and pain for our good and His Glory. Praying for you today! And if you ever need more support, don’t hesitate to email me!