Whirlwind.
That’s probably the best word I can use to describe this summer. Where you feel like you’re being tossed around every which way by a relentless wind that never seems to let you catch your breath. I can’t even believe two whole months have gone by since my last post. Or that creating recipes in the kitchen feels like a lifetime ago. Or that the summer is over without a moment for me to enjoy it. But sometimes, that’s just how life is – a whirlwind. And for me, it seems like this whirlwind has lasted much longer than just this summer. It’s been a three year-long whirlwind of broken hearts, broken health, and (more recently) a broken house.
While I would gladly trade my afflictions from the past three years for a seemingly “easy” or “normal” life, I know that there are purposes in the pain and lessons to be learned. But to be perfectly honest, my husband and I have gone through the most difficult, uncomfortable few months of our lives and it’s tempting to want to throw in the towel and just give up. Yet, we know in our hearts that God is always faithful and is always refining us. And even though “content” is often far from how I’ve felt in this season, I’m slowly, painstakingly learning contentment through chronic illness.
Rather than keep this growing process to myself, I thought I’d share my thoughts with you. So, whether you’re suffering from mold toxicity, Lyme disease, autoimmune disease, chronic pain, or just simply having a whirlwind season, I hope this post provides a refreshing outlook on learning contentment in any and every situation. Over this crazy/hard summer, I’ve discovered that my contentment is affected most by three “Cs”: comparison, circumstances, and Christ. Allow me to explain…
“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
~Philippians 4:11-13
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I accepted the challenge to memorize the book of Philippians this year. It’s always been my favorite book of the Bible and is full of so much encouragement and hope. This passage in Philippians 4 really stood out to me this summer because, like Paul, I feel as though I’ve lived through various extremes.
~From being pregnant to losing our baby
~From having great health to being chronically ill
~From being able to exercise to having difficulty moving
~From building a comfortable home to tearing it apart
~From making future plans to trying to survive each day
Can you picture your own “From ______ to ________” list of ups and downs? As I read over mine, I feel pretty ashamed that I was rarely content in ANY of those situations, even the good ones! (And I’m assuming I’m not the only one!) Either I was not appreciating present blessings because I was so focused on the NEXT thing or I was wallowing in the hardship and feeling sorry for myself. It shouldn’t surprise us that we’ll be left feeling dissatisfied, discouraged, and depressed when we allow comparisons and circumstances to affect our contentment more than Christ.
Comparison and Contentment
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty….”
Have you heard the statement, “Comparison is the thief of joy”? Well, I also believe it’s the thief of contentment. And unfortunately, we live in a culture that seems to thrive on comparisons, especially with the social media craze. Don’t get me wrong, I use Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, etc. I recognize they can be a great way to connect with people around the world, a way to spread encouragement and new ideas, and a way to promote businesses and blogs (like yours truly). But how many times do we scroll through photos and updates from friends and family and leave feeling pretty down about our own lives?
Usually, seeing other people’s best when I feel my worst is far from helpful, especially while navigating through chronic illness! I’m not proud of it, but there have been so many moments where I’ve caught myself wishing I could trade lives with someone else. And even when we’re not going through a desert season, it’s still really easy to get caught up in comparing ourselves to others. Comparing our appearances, activities, or lives, in general, can lead to feelings of jealousy, covetousness, sadness, and ultimately, discontentment.
So, what can we do about this? How can we stay active in communicating with friends/family without comparing our situations or wishing our own lives were more like theirs?
Refer back to the verse above. Paul has experienced seasons of hardship and blessing, need and plenty. He’s writing from a place of understanding for both extremes. Like Paul, we ALL have both hardships and blessings, and our own good and bad experiences give us greater compassion for others. When we have compassion for people, we can avoid comparing ourselves to them. And when we pray for our friends, family, co-workers, etc., it helps focus our minds to be able to rejoice with them, intercede for them, or mourn with them, rather than compare ourselves with them.
I also think Paul was very secure in his identity and purpose – a dedicated Christ-follower and preacher of the Gospel. When we are secure in who we are, we have no reason to envy other people’s lives. Each person was created by God for a purpose, whether in need or having plenty in this life. Instead of feeling inadequate in the light of comparison, focus in on how you can become the best possible you and live out your calling.
Finally, if all else fails, take a social media break! (You’ve probably noticed that I have, since Not only is it a good idea to do this regularly anyway, but I find that when I’m going through rough times, it helps me to safeguard my mind from discontentment that comes from comparison.
Circumstances and Contentment
“…I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want…”
The verse above clearly illustrates how quickly our circumstances can change. Paul has experienced the full gamut of life situations. And though it doesn’t mention it in this passage, he lived through shipwrecks, beatings, imprisonment, and persecution, just to name a few. If Paul’s contentment was tied to his circumstances, I think he would have been miserable constantly!
Likewise, if I hinge my contentment level on my circumstances, I’ll rarely, if ever, be content. Three years ago, I put so much stock in my health, home, finances, and plans for my life. I tried so hard to have a perfect, comfortable life. Now, with the recent diagnoses mold toxicity and Lyme disease on top of prior autoimmune diseases, everything has been turned upside down. The health I relied on is worse than ever as I try desperately to put the Lyme disease in remission. The home I relied on became unsafe and had to be remediated for mold, resulting in lost belongings and torn apart rooms. The finances I relied on are dwindling with the cost of vitamins, medicine, treatments, and doctor visits. And the plan I relied on to have a family seems like a far off dream rather than reality.
But rather than dwell on past circumstances or what I think my circumstances SHOULD be at this point, I have to remember that what is happening right now is the way it needs to be. Nothing is a surprise to God and He’s allowed things play out this way for a reason. If for nothing else, than to make me realize just how much my contentment relied on my circumstances.
Now, make sure you don’t miss the word “learned” in the verse above. We can’t expect to find contentment quickly and easily in this life. No, it’s a process that we must learn by going through ups and downs, challenges and successes. With each experience, we gain wisdom and maturity. Both qualities help us to learn better and more quickly. So while contentment may be a struggle for us now, we’re slowly heading to a time when it will get easier.
One way to make the journey to contentment easier is by giving thanks in all circumstances. When bad things happen, I tend to jump to the conclusion that EVERYTHING is bad. But after I take a step back, I realize that a lot of things are still good. I just tend to minimize the goodness and let the badness overwhelm it. So, I think we need to make counting our blessings and being thankful a priority in order to be content.
Oh, and that “secret” of contentment Paul refers to in these verses? That secret is Jesus Christ. The true key to contentment.
Christ and Contentment
“…I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
Unlike comparisons or circumstances, when Christ is the center of our contentment, we can rest secure. No matter what our lives look like, it’s possible to be content. As the verse says: “I can do all this” (be content in any situation) “through him” (Christ) “who gives me strength.”
This verse is so encouraging because we don’t have to rely on our own strength or capabilities to learn contentment. We’re not alone in fighting the battle against discontentment. We can ask Jesus to help us with it by daily shifting our focus from our problems to our Perfecter. There are no circumstances so dire or problems so great that Christ can’t intervene and give us strength.
That said, I realize it’s still difficult to truly live this out. I’m writing these words from a pretty dark place in my own life, so know that I’m still learning contentment through chronic illness. I’m definitely not there yet. In fact, there have been many, many days where I’ve wanted to just give up, thinking, “Please God, I’ll take a new life right now.” Or I’ve cried out to Him, “Why can’t you just heal me? Why am I stuck here?”
Have you been there, too?
Despite the struggle, I can say with certainty that I’m moving much closer to true contentment in Christ and further away from contentment based on comparison and circumstances. Keep in mind, contentment doesn’t mean we have to stop crying out to God for help or healing. But it does mean that even when life makes no sense, we trust that God is still working and is in control. In the midst of one of the fiercest storms and biggest whirlwinds in my life, I’ve found peace in letting go of what I held on to and allowing Christ to be my strength.
To close out my thoughts, I’ll leave you with some lyrics from the hymn, “Because He Lives”. A powerful reminder of how, in Christ, all things are possible for us. Even learning contentment through chronic illness. Simply because He lives…
God sent His son, they called Him Jesus;
He came to love, heal and forgive;
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living, just because He lives!
Tears stream my face as I read this. I can so relate to the battle with chronic illness. My battle started 16 years ago and for a little while I could still go on,I had a life, I was finally reach my dream of being a teacher and finally be able to support me and my kids without help from my parents. However, shortly after my semester of student teaching my body started giving out. More and more new symptoms, illness or health issues appeared finally rendering me unable to work. I’ve been fighting for two years for disability. I now have a lawyer and a court date in October and praying I’m approved so I can take the burden off my parents and focus on trying to heal what I can through healthy eating. I often feel useless and ask God to take me away because I can’t see how I’m doing Him any good here on earth if I cant hardly do anything. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought that my granddaughter needs her Grammy,and I know my kids even now they are adults need me even if they don’t acknowledge it. But I don’t know how to be content in a situation that seems hopeless. There is no cure,I’ve exhausted most treatments,I don’t see a future that’s any different than what I’m facing now. I’ve watched my mom for years deteriorated and I desperately don’t want to end up that way but that seems to be the road I’m on. I want to be well so I serve God and help others. I dream of traveling the globe helping with human/sex trafficking awareness and rehabilitation but the most I can do right now is pray so I’m guessing for some reason this is what God has for me at the moment, I just pray His return is soon,or He takes me home soon,or He heals me soon because I don’t know how much longer I can live like this.My only hope is for the peace I’ll finally find in eternity.
Oh Candy, my heart breaks for you and I understand your pain. It’s really hard to feel helpless and that life is passing you by when health concerns worsen. While I can’t take away your pain, I can tell you that you’re not alone and that God still has a purpose for you, even in this dark time. I think we’re all very conditioned that we have to constantly be “doing” things in order to have value, but in God’s eyes, just “being” here is enough. Continue to reach out to Jesus, as He totally understands and is with you in your pain. I also wanted to share this encouraging podcast about how even when we can’t get out of bed in the morning, we can still serve God. https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/i-have-chronic-fatigue-how-do-i-not-waste-my-life Hope it helps lift your spirits! You’ll be in my prayers.
Thank you for taking the time to post this it is beautifully written! Praying for your struggles!
Thank you so much, Chrissy! I appreciate your kind words and your prayers! 🙂
You are so very welcome!
Thank you so much for your transparency with your challenges. I will be lifting you up in prayer! And sorry your summer has been full of trails. I’m praying and believing with you that a better season will come in His timing! I had a colonoscopy a few days ago and it has flared everything up!! I was doing somewhat better before and discouragement can so easily set in. Reading your post has given me the courage to surrender this to Him. And trust He has a plan even in the mist of suffering. Sometimes that’s all we can do is weep at His feet and cling to the bottom of His garment. You posts always are so timely. Much love and blessings to you!!
Aw, thank you, Susan! I’m so happy my post was encouraging to you at just the right time! Definitely God at work. 🙂
I totally relate to feeling discouraged by flare ups and setbacks. It’s so tough to push through the pain, but I’m praying relief is in sight for us both. Thanks so much for reaching out and for your kind words! God bless you!
Hi Joanna,
I just found your blog and I’m so glad I did! I see a lot of myself in what you have been experiencing these past months. I too lost a child 3 years ago. The pain of that really never goes away. I have a 14 year old daughter as well and she is a complete JOY!… but I always wanted to add to my family. While I am beyond grateful for what I have -that longing is forever part of my life. The consolation I do have is that I will be with my baby when God sees fit to take me. Also -there are things in life that you just cannot change or control. I rely a lot on the Serenity prayer..lol But, the lesson I’ve also learned is to enjoy every moment in life whenever possible,no matter how insignificant it seems and love the life you live. It’s not easy at all sometimes but I’m learning to “Let go and let God” when times are hard. I also have been suffering with Chrones Disease since 2012 and have this past year begun to tun things around through changing my diet and learning that food indeed is medicine. I also have had more setbacks with my health than I can count. However, just knowing I’m not alone and that this too will end really helps me. You will get through this too. Just from reading your blog-you seem to be a very strong person which I know is fortified through God’s love. My prayers go out to you for abundant health and comfort.
Hi Karla,
Thank you so much for sharing your heart! I appreciate your encouragement and prayers, also! It really is a comfort to know we’re not alone in these struggles. I’m very sorry for your lost, but like you said, it’s so reassuring to know that we’ll meet our babies in heaven someday. 💕
Love what you wrote about enjoying each moment of this life, no matter how small. I think I’m learning to appreciate the small things more than ever before- like simply having days of less pain is such a gift! It’s amazing how health challenges can really put things into perspective. I laugh now about the trivial things I used to fret over.
May we both live each day to the fullest, with thanksgiving, and trust that God has a perfect plan for our good through these hardships. Praying for you today!
I am sorry that you are enduring so much at once, & pray for brighter days ahead.
I can relate to some of what you are going through. In 1988 I was diagnosed with a rare, incurable disease, Fibrosing Mediastinitis. A decade later, woth severe Fibromyalgia that basically brought my career to an end. Every few years afterwards I would be diagnosed with another disrade & anothrr. A year ago a rheumatologist diagnosed me with MCTD & Lupus (lupus has been suspected for a couple of decades). Then, because that physician had a nasty attitude, I went to a second rheumatologist who said I do not have either of those two diseases because she needs every single box to he checked, & she can only check 4 of the 7. My pain some dayd is excruciating, but I’m in limbo with diagnosis. I’m coping with CRPD & on oxygen as a result of the rare disease, while teying to care for my elderly Mother (who will be 97 in May) with little financial, ohysical or emotional support from family.
Some days are difficult, but God has never forsaken me. Even after losing everything due to serious chronic illness, I am thankful I can praise Him for His goodness.
I discovered your site while searching for AIP recipes. Although it will be difficult, I hope to adopt an AIP diet for a month in hopes of improving my symptoms.
Prayers going up for you & your family.
Oh Nita, your kind words and prayers are so appreciated! And what I’m dealing with is nothing compared to all you’ve endured! I’m so so sorry for the pain and hardships you’re experiencing and will be praying for you, too. Thank you for reminding me how God never leaves us or forsakes us. I really needed to hear that today.💕
I hope my recipes are helpful as you begin the AIP diet. It really isn’t bad once you have some tasty, reliable recipes to use! I recommend visiting these blogs- Unbound Wellness, Grazed and Enthused, and Autoimmune Wellness -for many more great AIP recipes!
God bless you on your health journey! ☺️