Have you ever thought that the circumstances in your life couldn’t get much worse…and then they did?   Well, since my last post back in April, that’s kind of how I feel right now.  Ironically, I wrote about “A Sifting Season,” which I had no idea was only just beginning.  But it’s four months later and I’m still being sifted and shaken, both physically and emotionally.

Let me fill you in.  In May, we decided to sell our house with the hope of finding newer construction (which tends to have a lower chance of mold growth, though not always the case).  The day after listing our house, my husband had an emergency appendectomy following a recurring horrible sickness. Selling a house is stressful, but doing so while you’re chronically ill and your husband is in the hospital felt like a crushing blow.   But by God’s grace, the house sold in a matter of days and we literally signed papers from Mark’s hospital bed.

We had high hopes that we would find a new home shortly after the sale, but were soon disappointed that the house we were interested in didn’t pass our mold test.  To this day, we are still searching for and testing houses while we temporarily live with my husband’s parents.  While I’m thankful to have a place to live, my heart aches for a home of our own again.  And the additional stress of the move and the uncertainty of where we’ll end up has taken quite a toll on my body, but I had no idea just how much until I suffered another setback a few weeks ago.

This time, I mysteriously injured my left knee, leaving me unable to walk without a cane or crutches.  It’s true that Lyme disease can attack joints and tissue, but this is new territory for me.  I’m still waiting on an official diagnosis from an orthopedic doctor, but Lyme could be the culprit or contributing factor.  Meanwhile, the right side of my body is protesting from overuse.  After numerous past hip injuries and now a pulled muscle in my shoulder (thanks to the crutches), I’m fearful that my whole body is going to crumble under the pain and stress of this latest episode.  An injury like this on a healthy person is difficult, but on someone fighting numerous health battles, it feels impossible to overcome.

Fortunately, we have family nearby and plenty of help.  My husband has been wonderful with caregiving.  Don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful.  But, I’m also devastated to have to completely rely on others to take care of myself.  Especially since I already went through a period of being unable to walk prior to learning about my Lyme and mold issues.  It’s hard to imagine being “normal” when my body feels like it’s fighting a losing battle.  It’s maddening how Lyme and mold have not only affected my health, but also the lives of my husband and family.  And, it seems like such an impossible dream that we’ll ever have a home that is “safe” and free of mold toxins.

Please understand that by sharing this, I’m not trying to gain sympathy or measure my suffering against yours.  (Especially since many of you reading this are enduring more hardships than I am.  And for that, I’m truly sorry.)  Still, it’s important to me to be transparent about my journey.  Lyme disease is misunderstood.  Mold toxicity is complex.  Autoimmune issues are difficult.  Pain is an everyday occurrence.  I’ve tried several doctors and various protocols, elimination diets, and herbal treatments so far without success.  We’re still sorting through what works and doesn’t work with mold and house hunting.  Eventually, I hope to share details and advice on both subjects, but for now, I continue to learn and experiment.

The silver lining in all this?  I’m not sure yet, but maybe it’s simply this post.  You’ve probably heard it said that God can use pain for a purpose.  When you’re on the receiving end of the pain, it’s hard not to roll your eyes at that statement.  And prior to writing this, I was doing the eye rolling.  My faith was wearing thin.  I’d given in to fear, worry, and frustration.  I cried out angrily to God about how my circumstances feel like a cruel joke.  And I strongly doubted how being riddled with disease, laid up with crutches, and living in someone else’s house could be God’s best plan for me.  Yet, the Lord draws me back to Him when I push Him away.  He responds to my protests with peace and encouragement.  He continues to put words on my heart that I believe I’m supposed to share.  And somehow, God can use the strangest things, or should I say Stranger Things, to deepen my love for Him, even when my world has been turned upside down.

THE UPSIDE DOWN

If you haven’t seen the summer’s hit TV show Stranger Things yet, not to worry.  (Although I recommend it, whether you’re a sci-fi/fantasy fan like me or not.)  The basic premise of the show is that a group of kids stumbles upon a portal that leads to a frightening alternate dimension that they call, “The Upside Down.”  It looks like a darker, scarier version of reality and it’s filled with monsters that want to abduct and/or destroy humans.  Now, there’s much more to the show than that, including a very humorous band of characters and plenty of 1980s garb.  But what stuck out to me when I watched the third season this summer was how the idea of the Upside Down might not be so far-fetched after all.

Often, real life is dark and scary.  What we want to be a safe, peaceful, and perfect world is actually a lot more like the Upside Down than we care to admit.  Think about it.  It really doesn’t take much to rattle us to the core and devastate the comfortable, easy lives we crave.  An injury, disease, divorce, bankruptcy, loss, depression, addiction…[insert hardship here].  In the Stranger Things world, the Upside Down was the alternate universe that humans weren’t living in, unless they got abducted by the monsters.  But in real life, it seems like we’ve already been taken to this Upside Down, fighting against figurative “monsters,” and longing for the paradise that we dream about.

So how do we survive in this upside down world?  How do we live well when we’re facing daily “monsters” and trying desperately to turn our upside down lives right side up? 

Believe it or not, we can learn a few lessons from the Stranger Things story.  On the show, the main characters (mostly children) had to understand each enemy they faced, discover its strengths and weaknesses, and have a plan of attack.  The kids also discovered a hero among them, named Eleven.  Eleven possesses supernatural powers and strength to take on and defeat the Upside Down monsters.  And no matter how difficult or scary the situations get, the Stranger Things kids bolster up their courage, especially knowing that Eleven has their backs.  They fight on, believing that they can be free of the Upside Down and its monsters for good if they don’t give up.

Similarly, we all need to recognize and understand our enemy and the “monsters” that he throws at us.  We need to put faith and trust in the Hero, who will never leave our side.  And we need to grow in courage and faith to keep fighting in this life, as we wait for a restored “Right Side Up” world.

THE ENEMY

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

~John 10:10, NIV

Now, I know we’re not encountering blood-thirsty Demogorgons and slithering Mindflayers like the Stranger Things cast battles against.  But, I’d say we have to deal with some pretty scary figurative monsters, wouldn’t you?  Keep in mind that all of the monsters in our lives stem from one source of evil: a universal enemy, the devil, who is out to try and overtake us, using whatever means he can.  In order to better prepare for his attacks, we have to understand how he works and what can ultimately destroy him.

In the verse above, Jesus refers to this enemy, the devil, as a thief.  He delights in stealing our joy and killing our faith.  He uses his monsters- pain, grief, suffering, abuse, poverty, even our own feelings- to overtake us and lead to our downfall.  There is nothing the enemy wants more than for us to cave in to fear and despair or turn to temptations and addictions to numb the pain.  The devil also preys on our weaknesses and can even use good things to wound or ruin us. Yes, even the fun, enjoyable aspects of life can be monsters in disguise.  We can love material things or people or ourselves so much that we become blind or indifferent to the evil that exists, the need for a Hero to save us, and the Right Side Up world that is yet to come.

Along with the physical and emotional attacks from monsters of all kinds in our upside down, there are also spiritual battles raging for our souls.  God and Satan are real.  Heaven and hell are real.  Angels and demons are real.  The sin in our hearts is real and we need to be saved from it.  And Jesus is waiting with open arms to save us if we ask Him to.  But so often, we fall prey to the enemy’s attacks and miss out on the full life that Jesus wants for us.  It’s very easy to become bitter from our circumstances and run away from God or become distracted by our pleasures and forget God.  Both ways make us more susceptible to the enemy’s lies and schemes, whose goal is to keep us as far from Jesus as possible.  Why?  Because he knows that Jesus is the One who can defeat him.

The closer we stay to Jesus, the less influence the devil and his monsters have on our lives.  This powerful enemy is rendered powerless when we speak the name of Jesus Christ.  And when we receive Jesus into our hearts, we also receive His Holy Spirit as protection.  As it says in Romans 8:38-39, ^“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”   

Did you catch that?  NOTHING can separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ.  No matter what attacks the enemy throws at us, no matter what monsters we are facing, we can still live courageously in this upside down world, knowing that we have a Hero who is living life with us and in us.

THE HERO 

“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

~John 16:33b, NIV

Rarely is a good story written or a good movie produced without some sort of conflict or tension.  Referring back to my Stranger Things theme, it would have been an incredibly boring show if the protagonists went about their daily lives without any difficulty.  It’s the struggle that forces the characters to grow.  It’s the battles they face that remind them that they can’t defeat their enemies on their own.  They need a hero to light up their dark world, just like we do.

In the verse above, Jesus reminds us that we will have trouble in this life – no question about it.  While we don’t want the trouble, we actually need it to become who we were created to be.  Thankfully, we don’t have to wade through the trouble on our own, since Jesus declares: “But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  Yes, life will still be hard and painful.  Yes, we will still stumble and fall.  But we need not worry because Jesus has overcome what we could not.  Because of His great love for us, He suffered through this upside down life.  Because of His great love for us, He died the agonizing death that we deserve.  Because of His great love for us, He struck down the enemy and rose from the grave.  And He did so with humility, strength, grace, wisdom, and compassion. 

It’s funny how we are so enamored with the heroes we see in movies like The Avengers or on TV shows like Stranger Things.  These make-believe heroes easily gain our awe and respect because they put themselves in the middle of the fight.  They protect humanity.  They sacrifice their own happiness for the good of others. They leap into danger to save the world from destruction.  Do you ever wish these superheroes existed?  Or want to be like them?  I know I do.  But all of these heroes that we idolize are flawed and imperfect.

The truth is, we don’t need to longingly hold out for a hero because we already have one.  A perfect, real life Hero who can do so much more than any of these fictional characters combined.  Jesus not only came into our world to teach us how to live in the Upside Down but He faced our greatest enemy and conquered death to pave the way for a new life for each one of us.  How often do we give Him our awe and respect, or even any time at all?  How much do we desire to be like Him?

In this world, we will have trouble, but take heart because Jesus is with us now through His Holy Spirit and He’s coming back again to permanently destroy the enemy and his monsters.  So, let’s remember who our true Hero is, thank Him for all He has done for us, spend time with Him daily, and model our lives to reflect His strong, selfless, loving character as we wait for His triumphant return.

THE RIGHT SIDE UP

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”

~Revelation 21:4, NKJV

Isn’t it strange how we are continually shocked or appalled when bad things happen in our lives?  Why is that?  Even though I’ve grown up in the church, read my Bible cover-to-cover, and consider myself a Christian, I STILL get frustrated and angry at God when hardships and trials come.  I know I’m a sinner and truly don’t deserve a life at all, but my first reaction to suffering is that it’s unfair.  I want a comfortable, enjoyable life.

Deep down, I know the truth: that we live in a broken, upside down world that is a result of our sinful natures.  Adam, Eve, the serpent, the garden…it all started there.  (If you’re unfamiliar with that story, read about it here.)  But for some reason, my innate response to suffering is to expect that the bad things should go away (as soon as possible) and that life should be good and happy and perfect (also, as soon as possible).

Our desire for a better, Right Side Up life isn’t an accident.  God designed this world to be perfect in every way.  We were created in His Image, so we still long for the perfection that once was.  And even though God has every right to leave us broken, fallen, and sinful, He is a God of redemption and restoration.  He mercifully and graciously set a plan in place to reverse the damage our sin has caused.  Jesus fulfilled God’s plan by being our living sacrifice on the cross.  And we currently live out God’s plan by believing in Him and allowing Him to refine us.  Each day that passes is one day closer to His Right Side Up- a new heaven and new earth.

In Stranger Things, the mission of Eleven and her ragtag group of friends is to close off the portal to the Upside Down and rid Hawkins, Indiana of all its evil monsters forever.  In real life, God will one day close the gates of hell and put an end to our enemy and his destructive reign forever.  And what has been broken and marred will be made new.  Everything, including Christ’s followers, will be as it was designed to be – beautiful, peaceful, joyful, heavenly.  We will no longer face the monsters of our daily lives.  We will no longer be overcome by darkness.  We will no longer yearn for something more.  We will no longer live in the Upside Down.

Friends, I’ve said it before in prior posts and I’m saying it again now, to encourage myself more than anything.  Our monsters are temporary.  The day is coming when Lyme disease and mold toxicity won’t exist. (And that day can’t come soon enough for me!)  There will be an end to war, cancer, school shootings, hurricanes.  Every hurt, tear, loss, hardship, temptation, sin….every difficult thing in this world will feel like a distant memory, or maybe not even a memory at all, in the new world that God is preparing us for.  So, keep living with hope.  Keep fighting against the enemy and his schemes.  Keep crying out to our Hero and Savior.  And keep waiting expectantly for the day when this Upside Down will forever be Right Side Up.

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**Special shout out to my talented brother who captured and edited all of the photos for this post and helped me as I balanced precariously on one leg during part of the shoot.  He did such a great job that I might have to use him more often!  Thank you, Andrew!  You’re the best!**